What flea bitten hovel are yea runnin here? I comes inta port from a long day of bilging and thers a rat in me home! Me wooden crate is on its last sea legs and I canna longer use it as a pillow. Housekeeping didn't change out the straw in me bedroll either. Fix all this or I'll be forced to move me business ta another island.
Yers cordialy,

Bigfatbuttfacebabyeating O'Brian